Following on from my last post, true self confidence is more than just keeping on ‘faking it’. That’s ok to give you a bit of a boost and to discover that you can be confident if you need to be. To keep it going though, there needs to be a certain mindset within you.
The most important thing is to know that who you are is ok. I know that this is one of those little statements that says a lot. But it is true, until we begin to love and accept ourselves for who we are, we just keep undermining ourselves with our own negative and harsh internal judgements. When we do this, it makes it really difficult to come across as confident, because we don’t believe it in ourselves.
So today, I thought I’d write about some easy confidence boosters that anyone can use.
First of all, reward yourself regularly. Reward yourself with inner praise and acknowledgements when you do good things in the world. So any time that you achieve something, whether it is big or small, reward yourself on the inside. Then, every so often give yourself an external reward too, like a special treat.
This fosters good feelings about yourself, and when you are feeling good about yourself, those internal ‘nastys’ don’t rule you and diminish your confidence.
Use positive affirmations. Make sure that your affirmations feel believable to you. Otherwise your internal meters will go off and the affirmations are negated. For example if you are overweight, or ’round’ as I like to call myself, it is crazy to affirm that, “I am slim” because your internal voice will immediately tell you that statement is rubbish and not true! If you are desiring to become slimmer, it is better to put it into a statement which can feel true, such as, “I am lightening every day” or “Everyday I am closer to my goal of a slim body” etc..
Being real and being able to believe yourself when you use affirmations, not only allows the affirmation to benefit you, but also adds to your internal confidence as you know that you are honest.
Let go of the past. Let the past be the past and stop re-hashing old stuff in your head. Realise that now is now, and now offers new opportunities regardless of the past.
If you have had enough of punishing yourself because of how things were in the past, of past judgements, events or circumstances, all you have to do is decide that you have learned what you need to from that past, then consciously choose to move on. You can choose instead, to be confident in whatever opportunities are around you right now.
Hang around with positive people. It makes such a difference to be in the energy of positive people. Like attracts like, so allow the positiveness and confidence of others to rub off onto you! I personally love this one, and I find it also releases unnecessary tensions which I often don’t even realise that I am holding!
Know that your opinion is ok. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You are entitled to have yours. Do not let the opinions of others hold you back. Tikashi always says that what other people think of you is not your business. With this in mind, you can be confident in allowing yourself to express your opinion.
And last but not least, have realistic expectations. Stop trying to prove yourself to the world. Just be real about all your expectations. One sure fire way to knock out your confidence is to set really high, impossibly unattainable expectations of yourself just so that you can punish yourself when you don’t achieve them. Sounds crazy hey? But that’s what we do to ourselves, needlessly. It doesn’t mean you don’t achieve, in fact it is the opposite – you actually achieve more!
This is one which I have had to work on for some time, but believe me, when you have realistic expectations it is so much easier to achieve goals, then be able to reward yourself, have positive internal dialogue and so forth. This in turn, creates huge confidence boosters as you regularly achieve and you feel like you are achieving.
Right now in my life I feel as if I am achieving. I have more positive internal dialogue than ever before. I love to reward myself, and do so often. I feel confident, I am confident. Are you?
I hope this post might give you food for thought and some good ideas as confidence boosters. Have fun.
Best wishes to you,
Eschani
